I Cooked Meat on Ignition Coal

Consolation might not be something that others do for you. If I say “I’m like this, but it might not be same for you,” the listener finds things to be consoled about. Therefore, I am talking to myself through this book, to find my own consolation. Yes. I am fine as is.

What is true consolation for people who have been to the brink of death? During my stay in the psychiatric ward, I found out that “you must live” is not words of comfort. Yes, I can see that. Living is hard. Don’t worry about it. Words like that may be more comforting. Maybe, people these days live to hear the words ‘you are fine as is.’ It’s ok to die. Live your life. I look at death and life in a cynical manner and give you my words of comfort.

Everyone has different schedule in life. Some people get up at 6am to have breakfast and begin work. Some people have only one meal and work in the early morning. They might ask to each other “how do you live like that” but both are same. They are living the life that suits them. We are different, so we live differently even though we are given same 24 hours in the day.

I lived with depression for a very long time. I don’t even remember when I started to be depressed. I’m thinking that maybe depressed self is my true self. I’m writing in my diary whenever I feel sick to reflect on myself. I’m getting psychiatric treatment for depression and emotions that restrain me. Sometimes I feel better, but I’m trying to learn how to live with my depression. I started to write to put down in words what I can’t easily talk about. I am more used to hiding, but now I talk about myself to comfort others who are going through similar feelings. I’m trying to sympathize rather than solve my mental aches. My other works include ‘I’m a Little Depressed, but Normal Person’ and ‘Sadness Might be Sickness’.